Sunday, May 10, 2009

B+'s, 98's, and its almost summerrrr

I kinda took a trip off the deep end the other day. It was sad. I had long awaited my final paper grade for ENC 1101 and was about to die of the anticipation build up! I had worked long and hard on a paper I was very proud of. To be totally honest I had gotten a tad cocky and truly believed I was going to receive a high A. Well, needless to say, I was knocked down. Totally and completely crushed. I had been checking my email like crazy waiting for that grade. Always holding my breath when I had a message only to be disappointed. It finally arrived Sunday May 3, 2009. Yea, I was obsessing. I held my breath and tried to calm the nervous butterflies in my stomach as I scrolled through to find the grade. There, on the last page and the bottom, it seemed to stand out among the other letters and words. It was like a Scarlet letter bringing shame upon my whole paper. It seemed to laugh and stare at me. It was taunting really. An 88 B. Seriously. I about died right there. Tears stung at my eyes and threatened to pour over, so I stayed strong, seeing how I was surrounded by people in a van. Everyone tried to be encouraging saying it was good, but the thing is, I felt like I was settling. Obviously something could have been better. Obviously it wasnt A material. It about crushed my dreams. I always thought writing was my thing, but now I am seeing it differently. I sort of developed a complex int that moment. I had wanted an A so bad. But the funny about this is I look at it now differently. Yea sure I am totally disappointed in not getting an A, but a B+ is good. There is a reason I got that grade. I truly believe it was to humble me. I admit I had gotten cocky in my writing. It was a good paper though. I still believe that. Anyway, I came out of Writing 101 with a B+. Totally unexpected. I also had a B+ in public speaking. Im okay with that. The best part about it all is my Algebra II honors grade. I have always struggled to do well in math and wow is all i can now say. I am making a 98! This is almost a 100 btw. Haha, I am sure you all realized that.

PLUS--It is almost summer time. School is so hard to focus on right now. I am having quite the hard time. For real.

What is great is.... God is renewing a passion in my life that I had felt was slipping away. I felt a sort of drifting feeling I guess, but He brought me back! (: Where would I be without my amazing Jesus? I really want to hunger after Him more though. I want one pure and holy passion and I want a magnificant obsession with Him. Seriosuly. He is such an amazing God. He has blessed me with so much. I am blessed beyond measure. I truly am. Okay, now I am getting sappy. Sorry about that. I just get excited about my Jesus.

So yea, this has been a long one and I didnt even blog about Gala. My bad. Long story short....It was greatttt!!!!

Hope you didnt get bored by this. I love you! Stay close to Jesus this week and be passionate for him!

Much love and peace

Bethany caroline

P.S--Star Trek was awesome

P.P.S--Spades with my besties is the bestest. lol.

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